Words

I'm the kind of person who, for the most part, thinks very carefully about what I say before I say it. Sometimes it still doesn't come out the way I mean for it to, but I think we've all been there at one time or another. The only thing that I can do when that happens is to use more words to try to fix it. I've always tried to teach my kids that words matter, once you say something you can't take it back, you can apologize for it, but it's always out there. Don't say something just because you're angry, or hurt or trying to be cool. Then there's the other hand, the old "sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me." side of things. I also try to teach my kids that they should be incredibly comfortable being who there are no matter what anyone else thinks. So how do I reconcile the two? Tonight, Nicholas was in tears at bedtime telling me how he thinks he can finally sleep without his Yoshi. Nicholas has slept every night with Yoshi since he was one and a half years old, something was wrong. It took some prodding but he finally told me that a friend had told him that only silly babies sleep with stuffed animals. I told him that he can sleep with Yoshi as long as HE wants to and who cares what anyone else says about it. Then he hit me with "but you always say words matter, and if words matter then shouldn't I care." My sweet, innocent, beautiful boy stood in front of me with tears streaming down his face trying to make sense of all of this. I know it seems silly, it's a child and his toy, but to him it was, in that moment, EVERYTHING. I didn't know what to say, he had me in a quandry, and as my friend says, "this parenting shit ain't for punks". I hugged him and let him cry. That's what he needed, he didn't need words, he didn't need me to fix it, he just needed to get it out. In the end, he's peacefully sleeping with Yoshi. Moral of the story, words DO matter, they should be chosen carefully and we're all free to be who we are no matter what words anyone else uses or doesn't.